Debadging Service

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion) 09/28/2015 at 14:20 • Filed to: dieselgate, tdi, hipocrisy

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Portland, OR: VW dealers are now offering a simple de-badging service, free of charge to all the loyal TDI owners who frankly don’t give a shit about this whole debacle and would prefer to continue driving their cars for all the same reasons they bought it in the first place.

Badge DeFlosserschmidt, owner of VW of Portland, OR, said today in an interivew:

While I have been rather disturbed to hear that it’s even a concern for our loyal customers, I am pleased that they have a simple solution to the unsolicited comments and harrassment they have been receiving, which is also quite frankly undeserved, as they were totally unaware of our Corporate-Sponsored Deception at the time of purchase. We have already seen a dozen or so cars come in for the simple debadging service since we announced it locally yesterday, and our customers seem pleased with the simple modification that allows them to continue not giving a shit what other think about their efficient little cars, while ‘Muricans everywhere are rolling coal all over the goddamn place, and driving V8 1/2 ton pickups to commute to their office jobs in suburbia.

For a small fee, we will even re-badge with a simple 2.5 or similar demarcation, for those who wish to combat lies with further lies.

In other news, truck and SUV sales are making new records as gas prices fall, because all we Americans care about is “what is the max monthly payment I can afford for the biggest cushy box to haul around my fat ass” and not about how much pollution those extra gallons of gas are causing.

DennisReynoldsGoldenGod > functionoverfashion 09/28/2015 at 14:44

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That’s good Kinja.

Future next gen S2000 owner > functionoverfashion 09/28/2015 at 14:47

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While this is grade A good Kinja, this would be a some much better thing if it were real.

McMike > functionoverfashion 09/28/2015 at 14:50

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...and I, Troller Schwartzeye will offer a service of putting all discarded badges on LEAFs, Prius, and Teslas.

jjhats > functionoverfashion 09/28/2015 at 15:01

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one look at the tail pipe should tell you everything you wanna know or you could smell/hear the offender from miles away

Mexifinn > functionoverfashion 09/28/2015 at 15:11

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If I cared about this, I would rebadge ours to be a 2.0T. Because it’s not really a lie.. it is still a 2L turbo!

functionoverfashion > Mexifinn 09/28/2015 at 15:45

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Good point! Would have been a better idea for the post...

functionoverfashion > jjhats 09/28/2015 at 15:48

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Well, maybe you could. But the average person writing a note like the one posted on oppo earlier, from the smug hipster, complete with Nazi reference, and implying that a TDI jetta is worse than a Suburban (unqualified)... nah.

functionoverfashion > McMike 09/28/2015 at 15:51

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Even better, grab a giant Rolling Coal sticker and a picture of a coal-fired power plant with wires going into the charging port of the car (leaf/tesla).

functionoverfashion > DennisReynoldsGoldenGod 09/28/2015 at 15:52

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Thanks, can you tell I read the Onion a lot?

functionoverfashion > Future next gen S2000 owner 09/28/2015 at 15:53

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Thanks, can you tell I like the Onion? My favorite headline there in a long time was after one of the mass shootings, “No Way To Prevent This, Says Only Country Where This Happens Regularly”

MotorcycleRider > jjhats 09/28/2015 at 16:10

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Not sure if you’ve ever been around a newish TDI, but they don’t sound or smell like diesel.

jjhats > MotorcycleRider 09/28/2015 at 16:14

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Is a mk5 jetta new enough?

Peter Leung > functionoverfashion 09/28/2015 at 16:34

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Hilarious. :D

Time to slap one of these babies on.

derekson > jjhats 09/28/2015 at 16:59

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Depends on if you mean the 2006 and older cars with the PD diesel or the 2009 or newer ones with the CRD engine. The older ones definitely were distinctly diesel, while the 2009 and newer cars are much quieter and even with the elevated NOx emissions, don’t visibly pollute in the way that people associate with diesel.

raitchison > jjhats 09/28/2015 at 19:05

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The only way to tell a TDI A3 from a gasser (other than badging) is the TDI has a single exhaust tip where the gas model has dual tips.

If you think you’re going to be able to tell based on what you see coming out of the exhaust you’re delusional.

MotorcycleRider > jjhats 09/29/2015 at 09:16

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That would be ‘05-’11, right? Actually, that’s not new enough. I’m talking about ‘11-present.